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Thursday, September 30, 2004
Do Something Before This Happens To You!
There is a crime wave sweeping the country. Is it perpetuated by well-known organized crime families? No! Is it perpetuated by gangs? No! And, the effects of this crime aren't immediately recognized by its victims, although at some point the owners of the affected establishments may realize they are being taken. And to top it all off, no one recognizes that these crimes are wreaking havoc on our economy.The most interesting aspect about this crime is that just about no one ever sees it happen, yet there are witnesses.
What is the crime to which I am referring? Pilfering of sugar packets and napkins! And just who is executing these crimes? To what demographic do these scoundrels belong? Senior Citizens! Yes, that's correct, Senior Citizens.
This is how the scam works. A "senior couple" goes into the local burger or donut joint under the pretense of buying breakfast or lunch. They actually purchase a SMALL cup of coffee for which they receive a discount. They make their way over to the condiment bar and nonchalantly take a handful of sugar packets (around 47 packets because their arthritic stricken fingers can't hold any more) and a ream of napkins (usually about half the supply in the napkin holder.) When the bootie has been secured, the seniors who entered the establishment with canes and walkers are suddenly able to flee without any assistance. Hmmmmm.
Evidence of their crime doesn't present itself until you are asked to visit their home for dinner. You never notice their sinister side until they set the table for coffee and dessert. You see the napkins and sugar packets from the local food outlets.
And then they have the nerve to mix the sugar packets from two different restaurants and the napkin of another. The least they could do would be to show a little decorum and maintain consistency among the condiments. How about all sugar and napkins from the same restaurant? That ain't asking too much, is it?
You have to be very careful upon leaving their house. They try to divert some of their ill-gotten gains to you by saying "We have so much sugar, why don't you take some with you," attempting to make you unwitting accomplice to their crime.
Something has to be done about this problem that is sweeping this nation. Do we need a twelve-step program for our seniors to attend that will cure them of this problem? Should Oprah do a show where she has an audience of all seniors and have her give thousands of packets of sugar to these needy people? Should Dr. Phil do a special show to psychoanalyze the nature of the "Sweet Tooth Swindle?"
I often wonder at what age does it happen that a person walks into a fast food joint and begins pocketing sugar and napkins. I wonder how long it will be before this begins happening to me.
Posted by Life's Little Observer
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