These are my personal observations in life where sometimes the stupid meets the insane.
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Tuesday, April 13, 2004
This Blog Brought To You By...
If you’re like me, and watch TV, you have no doubt noticed that a lot of shows have sponsors that pay for certain segments of the shows. This is especially true in sports programming. Major League Baseball has the “Rolaids Relief Pitcher of the Game” and the “Nextel Call to the Bullpen.” The National Football League has the “Timex Two Minute Warning.” And, the NCAA Basketball Championship has “Cingular at the Half.”From studying how much money is generated from these sponsored segments, I decided to open my life to advertisers and let them sponsor my moments during the day.
Here are a few ideas so I can take advantage of that cash cow:
Entering the bathroom, “This bathroom moment brought to you by Charmin. Please, Don’t squeeze the Charmin.”
Shaving before getting dressed in the morning, “This moment brought to you by Remington, I liked it so much I bought the company.”
After a workout, “This workout moment brought to you by Sure, raise your hand if you're Sure.”
As I’m being presented with a sexual harassment suit, “This sexual harassment suit brought to you by AT&T, Reach out and touch someone.”
Checking the stock pages, “When EF Hutton speaks, everybody listens.”
Driving to work in my jalopy, “This moment brought to you by John Deere, nothing runs like a Deere.”
Sending my taxes to the IRS on April 14th , “This taxing moment brought to you by Hallmark. When you care enough to send the very best.”
After punching my boss in the nose for a bad performance appraisal, “This violent moment brought to you by FTD, say it with flowers.”
Attending an upscale wedding reception, This moment brought to you by Polaner, can you please pass the jelly?”
Having a cold refreshing afternoon beverage, “This refreshing afternoon beverage moment brought to you by Pepsi Cola, Lipsmackin' thirstquenchin' acetastin' motivatin' goodbuzzin' cooltalkin' highwalkin' fastlivin' evergivin' coolfizzin' Pepsi.”
At lunchtime, “This lunch break brought to you by Subway, eat fresh!”
When exchanging automobile accident information, “This accident brought to you by Allstate, you’re in good hands with Allstate.”
Making a purchase on eBay, “This purchase brought to you by Visa, it’s everywhere you want to be.”
Watching Phil Mickelson win the 2004 Masters, “This moment brought to you by the PGA, these guys are good.”
After too many ice cold malt beverages, “This drinking moment brought to you by Bounty, the quicker picker upper.”
Getting ready for bed, “This sleepy moment brought to you by The Clapper, clap on, clap off, clap on clap off, the clapper!”
Going to sleep for the evening, “This going to sleep moment brought to you by Sominex.”
“Taking digital pictures with my Nikon 4300, $439
Having a top of the line Dell notebook computer to view my photos, $2,700.
Having advertisers sponsor every moment of my life, priceless!”
As of this moment, I am accepting proposals from advertisers who would like to sponsor my every movement. Of course "This advertising moment is brought to you by Prostitution, the oldest business in the world."
Posted by Life's Little Observer
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